Victory in Jesus

It was over two weeks ago.  I tried to write down all the flashes of inspiration in a word document but it just disappeared. Sometimes you cant count on computers. even awesome ones like mine.

Our Chapel speaker for our missions focus week was Mark Jobe, a pastor from Chicago. In less than an hour he systematically addressed every key lesson I learned in the Forge…while this year’s class was visiting DTS.

Afterwards, our director Matt said that things like that dont surprise him anymore. I remember walking past the library and asking the Lord to lead me down a path like that. I want to be used to having my heart blown away by the Spirit.

So many times my classes intermingle lessons with random conversations I have with strangers and the newest Chariot album. So good.

Like this idea of Jesus being our Prophet, Priest and King. I first encountered the idea in Mark Driscoll’s Vintage Jesus. Its now my favorite thing to talk about. And I see it everywhere. John Calvin, I salute you. About two weeks ago I bought one of those HUGE post-it pads as I attempt to record prayer requests and find some kind of discipline. One night i spent about three hours connecting the idea to the shema. But that’s a different story.

Even within that I forget. Im a dumb sheep, ya know? I still need the gospel each day and I need to be asked, “Who are you and what are you doing here?” every day. Every single day.

I picked up Pete Gall’s My Beautiful Idol at the half price bookstore I found near my favorite St. Arbuck’s. It’s memoire style is compared to Don Miller’s and the guy is going through the same things I am.  He’s searching for significance and purpose after leaving his successful job to attend seminary. Although I can hardly claim to ever having a “real job” I can identify with his move from security and definition to uncertainty. I think if I can get past wanting uncertainty to stop I would realize all the Lord is giving me and leading me to. But I always want it to make sense. And it never does.

I met with a pastor the other day because ive been going to his church and i want to get to know the real, non-stage man he is. He asked me what I knew the Lord was calling me to do or be in this season. I dont know alot about where ill be after I get a degree (which is a question ALOT of people ask) but answering that question did wonders for my focus.

I told him that the Lord is calling be to be faithful in what i have and to trust that He is good. Starting over is as good as it is scary. Every opportunity seems to have a missed opportunity when you take it. its called choices. When you want to save the world, choices can be crippling. Each thing you choose to do eliminates something you could do. And i want to do everything. I want to learn everything and know everyone and have everyone love me

Each day I have to take a heavy step away from comfort toward obedience. And i’ve found that there is no coasting in a life wiht God. You cant rest on past sucesses and you can just float past real problems.

As ole Pete Galls says, “I want to get into the dirt and doubt of the real world. It hurts, but all I can do is push forward”

That’s essentially what Mark Jobe came to. Jacob won the wrestling match with God because he stuck with it. He didnt pin the God of the universe, he just endured. It was a battle fought in the dirt and darkness that left him with a limp for the rest of his life. But in the end, his name was changed. In the end it was worth it. But in the wrestling match, the victory was in the fight, not the name.

Life with God can never be about anything else. Ive spent alot of energy chasing significance, peace, understanding, hope and secruity through a relationship with Jesus. And I know in my head that this road is a dead end. Or, more accuratley, its a one way street and im going the wrong way.

Matthew 6:33

Anyone can see the road that they walk on is where they’ll go…

Who knew that Fastball was still around making music? Its not bad either. The song “always and never” has a mid 90s feel that makes me think it belongs on the Dumb and Dumber soundtrack along with the Crash Test Dummies.

Either way, if you havent ever discovered Daytrotter, you should check it out. They have acoustic-ish sets for download from bands like Copeland, Damien Jurado, Death Cab and SOON: THRICE! So go check it out.

Jonah 2:8-9

Narrowing the scope

A friend compared the season im in to the drummer in this video. My favorite part is the look he gives the mountain. Its worth it.

The Story of God : Wordle

We understand where youre comin’ from

a place and a reason

Its always fun to understand the bigness or goodness of old stories. One of my favorite parts of my first semester Hebrew class was understanding the significance of Jonah by studying its context, linguistics and message. All of a sudden a vacation bible school story was about God’s sovereignty and compassion for all nations, not just a giant whale.

Ive been in Jeremiah for a while and my blogging reflects that. About two weeks ago Tony Evans came and spoke on Jeremiah 29. Of course he highlighted the infamous youth rally Jeremiah 29:11. he also said something like,”Jeremiah is not exactly the kind of book you want to turn to for personal devotions”. In fact he said that magical verse 11 was “a good verse in a bad chapter in a bad book.”

But I LOVE Jeremiah. I am still claiming it to be my favorite book in the Hebrew bible. There’s a reality to it that enables the hope within it to feel like real life. If the people in these circumstances can lean into God, there must be something to a life of faith.

So this is what ive found recently:

Jeremiah 29:11 addresses the hope of the nation of Israel to return to their land. They were in exile- a time out for misbehavior. But even then God says they are not beyond redemption. There is hope and it is sure. It just doesnt look good but there is surely a movement to restoration.

In Jeremiah 30, we see this movement from darkness and chaos to restoration take form. Its not going to be easy. Inn fact, the Lord promises discipline. However, this pain is proof that they are being saved. Hebrews 12 says that discipline is proof of sonship.

In verses 10-11 The Lord calls his people not to fear because he is bringing about their salvation. He even says that he has dealt them a blow as an enemy. And that’s where I find hope. Even in pain or shame we have hope because we know that Go dis working. The word glory simply means weight. When we see our disobedience in light of God’s holiness, his glory stings. It weighs on us and we feel so near despair. We cant fix what we have broken. But that’s where deep hope through the hesed of God and the Gospel of Jesus Christ has the most power. Though our “guilt is great” and our “sins are flagrant”, God promises: “I will restore you, and your wounds I will heal.”

The Lord promises that the pain we cause ourselves by straying from him will be restored by him. that’s grace. We get the opposite of what we deserve. We get reconciliation, not divorce. And here’s the part most Jeremiah 29:11 fans wont like: Its through the pain of discipline that we get to experience the deep movement of the gospel. When we deal with our failures and regrets and bring them to the Lord under the New Covenant, we can see true transformation happen in the deepest, sickest part of our currupted hearts.

So while there may not be much sunshine and daisies in Jeremiah, there is a hope that speaks to the farthest, darkest moments of our lives. Jeremiah 31 shows us that the rebuilding is done by God. We find rest and wholeness by submitting our brokeness and rebellion to him. He makes us good. He ransoms our souls and redeems our paths so that we can participate in his work. He brings us from exile to place of purpose and uses all of our darkness for reasons we could never have seen.

“And you shall be my people and I will be your God”

Making some changes

“But now is the time for decision and especially for planning. God changes lives in response to faith. But just as there is no faith that does not act, so there is no act  without some plan. Faith grows from the experience of acting on plans and discovering God to be acting with us.” – Dallas Willard

“And to those who obey Him, whether they be wise or simple, He will reveals Himself in the toils, the conflicts, the sufferings which they shall pass through in His fellowship, and, as an ineffable mystery, they shall learn in their own experiences Who He is.” – Albert Schweitzer

Do not merely listen to the word, as so deceive yourselves; do what it says. (James 1:22)

“…I am with you always, to the end of the age.”

I recently read Donald Miller’s new book, A Million Miles in a Thousand Years. It really hit me. I cried and laughed at the same time on my bathroom floor. Im not a crier. But the Lord broke my heart and warmed it at the same time as i was reminded of the full beauty of the gospel. So i wept and laughed on my bathroom floor at 2 am. And it was good.

AND you were DEAD in the trespasses and sins in which you once walked…BUT God, being RICH in mercy, because of the great love with which he loves us, made us ALIVE, together with Christ.

The part that i hope will stay with me more than the heart warming stories and endless inspiration to write a wonderful story after our Master Storyteller wasnt written in any chapter.

I read this book in one night. i finished the first 20 chapters in the library after class. I got hungry so i went home. As i was walking i saw something and i thought a joke that would be funny to Donald Miller. It was something that would fit with his personality. If He were there and i were to say it, he might chuckle and i would feel cool. Because Donald Miller is way cool.

And that’s when it hit me: that’s how we be masterpieces. We dont have to add anything onto our lives to be complete. We are complete in Christ. All we have to do is spend time with the Author AND Perfecter of our Faith.

As we do this, our thoughts become his thoughts and we live as his children. What would life be like if the only story we told ourselves was the Story of God? All of a sudden, the dots wont stick. right?

“fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand…For I, the Lord your God, hold your right hand; it is I who say to you, ‘Fear not, I am the one who helps you.’ “

Isaiah 41:10,13

Our God is a god who not only provides our foundation (forgiveness, eternal residence in heaven, etc) by upholding us with his right hand, He also comes alongside us in our weakness and holds our right hand as he guides us. He guides us through sanctification as we depend on him to transform us. He protects us and goes before us. He prepares us for the work he has prepared for us. You see, its not about us. It cant be. If the story becomes about us, it crumbles. BUT we can be apart of a Story that ends in Light. We are made alive, and we will be perfected in Him. That’s a rich God. That’s a BIG God.

Life is hard: God is good

What else is there?

interesting…

this thought almost blew my mind when we discussed it in class the other day:

Legalism cheapens the holiness of God. It does this in a 3 step process:
A man makes a list of things to be done that will make him acceptable to God.
This list is not complete and therefore lower that God’s standard because it is man-made.
This implies that God’s standard, which reflects his holiness in its other-ness, is achievable.

and that’s why Jesus is our Sabbath (Hebrews 4). He achieves what we cant and so we are able to rest in his perfection instead of trying to achieve our own(which is a cheap illusion).

A high priest whose name is Love

“The deepest secret of our walk is just to know him, and so to believe in His Father-heart that we can cry out our failures on his loving breast, if need be, or speak plainly to him in Thanksgiving for every victory. When we know the consolation and relief of such communion we shall have less occasion to trouble anyone else. It is ours to tell Him just what we feel, just how bad we are at heart, and even our darkest unbelief. To do this only opens up our hearts to Him for His blessed light and strength….
…We are never wonderful saints of whom God may be justly proud: we are His children, immature and filled with foolishness, with whom he is endlessly patient and on whom he has been  pleased to set all His infinite heart of love. He is wonderful. We are not.”
“Dr. Karl Barth was one of the most brilliant and complex intellectuals of the twentieth century.  He wrote volume after massive volume on the meaning of life and faith.  A reporter once asked Dr. Barth if he could summarize what he had said in all those volumes.  Dr. Barth thought for a moment and then said: “Jesus loves me, this I know, for the Bible tells me so.”"

that’s all that counts friends.